Lately, I've been struggling with my physical appearance. I've felt dreary, mundane, shapeless. Truthfully, I feel kind of like a fake by posting this-- I'm always talking about embracing your flaws and finding your inner bombshell, but it seems I can't take my own advice. It's just.. when you're alone all the time, you have nothing but time, and with that time, you attack the one person you're always with-- yourself. I feel like I'll never be thin enough, never have the perfect hourglass shape, or like my nose is too big for my face.. Things that have always been insecurities in the back of my mind have all been surfacing and seem to scream out to me when I catch a glimpse of my own reflection. I just feel like a lesser version of better people out there.
I'm not fishing for compliments-- that sort of things drives me insane-- I'm just trying to put into words what I'm feeling. I just feel like... I don't even know. I'm a writer without the words to describe what I feel when I see myself.
I know it can be hard to share stuff like this, especially when you feel like you're not taking your own advice, but it's nice to know that other people have the same thoughts that I do! I know we're crazy for having them, but in the moment, it can be really hard to push those thoughts out of your mind, you know?
ReplyDeleteBut you ARE beautiful both inside and out :) I love you and your blog!
Let's get together in our jammies and build a blanket fort with pillows and sheets and pretend the rest of the world isn't even there!
ReplyDeleteyou are lovely! but i totally understand how hard that is. i've been there. and done the same thing numerous times. you'll be okay.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to let you know that it's okay to feel that way. Sometimes it happens. It's okay! That doesn't make you a hypocrite or any less of a body acceptance warrior. Just remember that you ARE lovely, you ARE worthwhile, and you ARE beautiful. You don't have to be perfect in the ways you said, because you are perfect at being who you are! I know it might be hard to remember right now, but who you are is definitely a good thing.
ReplyDelete:) ♥
- Mia
I hear you, girl. I struggle with this all the time. I'll stomp around town shouting "Love your body; love who you are!" and then I go home and look at all the things I hate about myself. Uhg. Maybe one day we'll get out of this funk! Until then, I watch Mean Girls and drink my smoothies. Ultimate pick-me-up. Oh yeah.
ReplyDeleteLove you; keep a smile on:)
I know how you feel, I believe we all do. I am struggling with the same and compliments doesn't help me if I don't start to believe them. Sometimes the smallest things help me to think otherwise: new dress fitting perfectly, favourite lipstick or a new hair-do.
ReplyDeleteStart by looking at yourself through the mirror in a different way, think about the things you like about yourself, not the flaws. It sometimes help. :)
And PS: I think your nose is really cute :)
I totally understand! It's very easy to embrace the whole loving-yourself concept in theory but it can be difficult to do so in practise. That's absolutely normal and it doesn't make your philosophies any less relevant.
ReplyDeleteBecky
xx
http://www.beckybedbug.com
Don't be so hard on yourself! Try to perhaps find another hobby aside from blogging- it can be loads of fun to blog, yeah, but it can be dreadful for self esteem at times. Perhaps play a game, read some comics, and relax. Let yourself get enveloped in a fantasy world. Imagine. Pretend. Play.
ReplyDeleteBut don't think you're not anything but beautiful!
Rose Eva
Silhouetted ♥ Blog
I know you weren't fishing for compliments, but for what it's worth, I think you're one of the most gorgeous girls I've come across in bloggerland :)
ReplyDeleteI get it though, I feel like this sometimes, and I think everyone does. I really wish we could break that 'perfect image' standard that society has built up, because who really fits that and who is the authority on that anyway? Who decides what's pretty and what's not?
You're not a fake by posting this, because you're not expected to take your own advice, 24/7. You know in your heart it's true though, right? Doesn't mean you need to stop worrying. Everybody gets it from time to time. Girrrl, from what I can see you're gorgeous (inside and out!) so if I didn't know better I would say don't worry, but that's easier said than done, and in addition you ARE allowed to worry anyway. I feel like I'm getting incoherent, so I'll just say I hope you feel better soon and just going to leave it at that!
Wow, long comment is long. Sorry.
I think most women can relate to how you are feeling. All I can say is that, as you get older, you will realize how gorgeous you are, inside and out. I wish I could have a conversation with the 20 year old meand tell her how pretty she is, and the whole world is out there, just waiting for her. But I can't, so I'll tell you instead. You are a gorgeous young lady, and the world is your oyster :)
ReplyDeleteAdrienne
What Lola Wants
Aw. As you can tell from other comments, this is totally normal, even down to having the self-love talk but not so much the walk (I do it A LOT); so I'm just going to sit here and send you good vibes and hope you feel better soon, because I totally believe you will.
ReplyDeleteI feel like we all cycle through feeling like that. Personally, I think you're adorable! Whenever I start to feel like that I make a mental list of all the awesome things I can do, and then I pick something new to learn to add to the list, so I have something else to throw my energy in to !
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel and I guess many, many, many random girls know how you feel. Everyone has something which they don't like about yourself. You know, me for example. I hate my body, whole body. I'm obsessed with my weight and my face which look like hamster. Everyone say that I'm stupid but I still feel like this. I mean that sometimes we think that we are ugly or something but it's not true. Onle WE see this. I know that it doesn't help and you will probably read all those comments and you will be like: oh, yeah. they haven't seen me in real life, they write it because they are sorry for me, but it's not true. you're really beautiful girl, who has beautiful nose and i'm sure many girls dream abut look like this. you know, i'm going to therapy, which i don't like to write, because then people think that i'm mental.. and i've learned one thing there. life is too short to worry about our look. it doesn't help very much, but look. we live once and we can't change our face or body, yeah we can, but you know what i mean... and it's just waste of time to think and try to find our defects. i don't know if it helps, but i'm worry about you. belive me, i have similar problems, and i exactly know how you feel.
ReplyDeletehope you're better<3 keep your head up! <3
xx
Alright, I won't shower you with compliments. But I know exactly what you're talking about. We all struggle to accept our physical appearance, even though it's one of the least important things about a person. There's this quote I've seen on Facebook that, while sounding harsh, is true. "A pretty girl is nothing if she has an ugly heart."
ReplyDeleteListen to all these readers who've commented too. They sum it up pretty nicely :)
Hope you start channeling that inner bombshell again! Don't tear her down.
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I think everyone struggles with it from time to time. I recently came across a quote that read something like "if you wanna see the love of your life, look in the mirror." I think its an appropriate quote for today :)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, Amber!~ I know that you're not one to fish for compliments, oh of course not! But goodness my love, you are seriously so gorgeous. You have the most beautiful lips, the most stunning hair, such pretty blue eyes, you have such amazing curves in all the right places...! So yes, I think you're kind of sort of a BABE. But everyone does struggle with their appearance and that is always the case, no matter what people tell you--I know that, everyone knows that. I feel like sometimes we just gotta get over these little bumps in our life. Something might be bothering you that's just making you see yourself in a different way, perhaps? Whatever it is, I hope that you feel better about your amazingly stunning self soon. :D
ReplyDeleteIt's always hard to follow the advice you always give to others. I know that one by personal experience! Especially when you're alone alot, that can get to one's head and then things start to surface that otherwise stay behind clouds. I hope you feel better soon, you have nothing to be ashamed of as you are very pretty and what's more important, a very nice person!
ReplyDeletexx Susie
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I think it's hard to be positive all the time, especially when it comes to physical appearance. I hope you snap out of this funk soon :) you're beautiful inside and out!
ReplyDeletei feel like this sometimes like I am so utterly bored with just being me that I start to stab at all my imperfections. underneath it all though it comes down to whats inside
ReplyDeletexoxo Ilana
I can't say that I know exactly how you feel (because it's the worst when someone says that) but I do know what you're talking about. There are times when I just cry because I don't feel good enough, or thin enough, or pretty enough. I think what we really need to do is stop and think of where these feelings are coming from. Is it the media telling us we aren't good enough? Or is it our constant comparing ourselves to others? I don't know the answer but I hope that since writing this you have come to some sort of peace with yourself and hopefully next time you look in the mirror you can see how beautiful you truly are.
ReplyDeletexoxo Sarah
theantiquepearl.blogspot.com
I get like this sometimes. I live in California and all of my friends and family are in Pennsylvania. I did make friends here during college, but as soon as we graduated - they all returned to their hometowns. This is my routine to get out of these "mucks" of course it's been temporary results but always effective. First I start with a list of what I do like about myself, sometimes I will recall the physical tributes and repeat them to myself in the morning. It's a little cheesy, but it's actually perfect that way because sometimes you laugh and laughing is really the best medicine. I like think why it's important to love myself. I really do believe that you need to love yourself in order to love others in a fair manner. Whatever your perspective is on yourself, though may not seem that way, will reflect your entire world and how you view others. The worse is when it effects the people you are closest too. I've lost at least one friend by not giving myself and TLC and that has really changed my whole outlook on how I treat myself. I don't know if this could help you or everyone, but I do hope you find your way again and again.
ReplyDeletex
Oh dearest Amber, we're so alike it's scary. I get like that from time to time, it's such a terrible tale but sometimes my mind just wanders to the shadows. But thanks to you and your "you're beautiful the way you are" kind of air to your personality, I'v been feeling more comfortable in my skin. I took that mentality with my on my trip to NYC and I can see the difference in myself through the photos that were snapped. Even my parents are like "Ohh, I've got another sexy daughter."
ReplyDeleteThanks to you, I feel sexy and beautiful for myself.
And you are just as ever so lovely! Never forget that dear!