Sunday, July 29, 2012
she says you don't wanna be like me
Lately, I've been struggling with my physical appearance. I've felt dreary, mundane, shapeless. Truthfully, I feel kind of like a fake by posting this-- I'm always talking about embracing your flaws and finding your inner bombshell, but it seems I can't take my own advice. It's just.. when you're alone all the time, you have nothing but time, and with that time, you attack the one person you're always with-- yourself. I feel like I'll never be thin enough, never have the perfect hourglass shape, or like my nose is too big for my face.. Things that have always been insecurities in the back of my mind have all been surfacing and seem to scream out to me when I catch a glimpse of my own reflection. I just feel like a lesser version of better people out there.
I'm not fishing for compliments-- that sort of things drives me insane-- I'm just trying to put into words what I'm feeling. I just feel like... I don't even know. I'm a writer without the words to describe what I feel when I see myself.