These past few days, I've been feeling horribly unattractive. No, this isn't me trolling for compliments. It's terribly difficult to explain how I can sit here and post pictures all willy-nilly and yet in life, I feel like the quintessential ugly duckling. I think it has to do with the lack of control. With my photos, I can pick and choose how I'm represented. Unflattering photo? Delete. In life, I can't do that. I find myself fidgeting unremittingly when I'm out and about because I can't see myself through others' eyes, and I wonder just what it is that they're seeing.
Sometimes I can be quite the opposite and downright cocky in my appearance, albeit in the solace of my bedroom with records blasting and mascara wand in one hand, magic wand in the other. I'm not completely disillusioned in my appearance, because I do believe that I have some unique characteristics and do believe I'm not terrible on the eyes.
Am I making sense to anyone?
Outfit Details: Dress: Forever 21 // Shoes: Kohls // Lipstick: Infallible le Rouge in Ravishing Red
Amber Rose
57 comments:
I know you're not fishing, but you really are GORGEOUS!! But I know exactly what you mean.. I delete a lot of pictures and only post my favorites online, but in real life I always think I look like the bad photos.
I also have this weird thing where I don't think I look too bad in the mirror, but I hate how I look in photos when my face is flipped (since in the mirror I see it backwards.. if that makes sense?) It just doesn't look symmetrical to me and it drives me crazy that that's how other people really see me.. I don't actually look the way I do in the mirror :p
I love forever xxi dresses and you look beautiful!!
I've always felt really self conscious about how I look. Since I started my blog its made me feel a whole lot better. I'm not over it, but I've come a long way.
You look lovely, I hope you realise that soon!
yes shopbop is dangerously addiciting! Thanks so much for commenting on my page. Following you google and bloglovin'! Hope you will return the friendship!
xo,
Leah
Love Shots
I think we are running on the same brain waves. :D As soon as I read this I thought "this reminds me of my newest post!" Then I got your comment.
I know how you feel, but juat remember that no matter what others say or think about you, God created you exactly as He wants you to be, and not matter WHAT He will ALWAYS love you!! *hugs* And I love you, too. :)
you're making complete sense ~ in photos the angles can be in your control, the good expressions accepted and the bad deleted. the same in the mirror ~ i never pull ugly faces in the mirror, but often if i catch myself either in a reflection or on a picture laughing or with a bizarre facial expression i hate it hate it.
you are so beautiful though amber darling, one of the most gorgeous girlies i have ever seen ~ that's the truth
*hugs*
xx
You are making total sense, my dear. The most difficult thing about feeling good about yourself, I think, is the opinions of other people. I too am always concerned about what other people think when they see me, but I'm trying to work on it. The bottom line is that their opinions don't matter. You are beautiful Amber, don't ever forget it :)
I know what you mean. It's natural to feel insecure -- just don't let it take over your life! I really do believe you're beautiful. Try not to focus on negative or unsure thoughts. xoxo!
You are lovely, and I know what you're talking about. I think what you described just summed up me perfectly:) It's hard sometimes, though. And I have to agree with THE-LOUDMOUTH in her advice. xx
you do make sense! at least to me. i feel that way all the time. sometimes when i'm getting ready at home by myself i feel pretty and lovely and everything. then i get in front of people and i cower and don't talk. or i catch what i'm doing in a mirror and i feel awkward and lumpy and messy. it's weird.
regardless, you're lovely.
Oh, Amber. I know exactly how you feel, but rest assured you are absolutely beautiful in a refreshingly individual way!
You have great style and I love your blog.
http://talkstyletome.blogspot.com/
My gosh Amber, I love you my dearest... I always feel that you take the exact things I'm feeling and thinking and relate to in such a real, beautiful way that I cannot. Long have I struggled with my self-esteem,as well. Just the other day, this is what I wrote on my personal tumblr page:
"Tonight I’m feeling really insecure. I hate this feeling of hating myself. Of wanting to be someone else. Of wanting to look like someone else. I don’t understand why I’m not enough. Why I can’t accept the way I look? I look at my face and all I see are flaws. I look at my body and all I see are flaws. I look at every little thing: my eyes, my cheeks, my lips, my jaw, my hair… everything I feel insecure about. I hate this. I hate it, hate it, hate it. When will I come to an acceptance of my own, individual beauty?"
And you're so right about everything in this post... I think as bloggers most people would think we would be confident but in reality most of us aren't. We feel as though we can't live up to the beautiful pictures and still images of ourselves that we present to our readers. Often times instead of meeting someone in person, I wish I could just show them a picture on my facebook. That way they wouldn't have to look at my ugly, real face but instead my perfected imaged face.
I just want to tell you though Amber that you are so insanely beautiful in the most individual and unique way. I admire you so very much on so many different levels and just know that you are so beautiful inside and out <3
I think everyone has felt this way at times- I have found that blogging has helped a little! Many of my favorite blogs are by girls who would not be found on a runway or in a magazine, and seeing how beautiful so many truly are in and out has helped me redefine beautiful and look at myself differently.
Your dress is lovely and the red lipstick complements it perfectly! I wish I could pull off red lipstick....it always feels too much for me!
Argh, I feel as though blogging has both improved and killed my self image. On the one hand, I'm more comfortable in front of the camera and strangers routinely tell me how nice I look. On the other, there are so many more pictures of me, some are still bad, and it's as though I can see everything in mega-detail. Every spot. Every tired looking eye shot.
But I bet you're much prettier in real life than the best photo on your blog. I think almost all of us are lovelier when we're moving and alive.
Ah yes the dangers of still life. What we present on our blogs is such a highly-edited curated version of ourselves. That's why I love blogs that feel really down-to earth and not over dreamy, magazine-world... like yours! You're so real, lovely and uniquely stunning... that's why we love reading along. xo
Yeah this makes sense to me! Although, I have found since having a blog it's helped with my self confidence, especially with what I wear now (used to be jeans & tshirt ?!)
I think everyone feels like that once in a while.. I alwauys worry about how others see me when I'm out! But you are most definitely not an ugly duckling (:
I can find myself in this post. You know, like one day you feel like you can be there, and the other day you feel as if everybody is looking maybe a bit down on you. and then you want to hide. This is actually the reason why I started my blog. I'm a ginger and people, let's say, used to notice that. I strated my blog to grow some confidence. One tip: don't delete all unflattering posts. Beeing able to laugh with yourself can maybe make you feel a little better :)
now, I hope I make sense, cause I don't seem too as I write this haha :)
xx Nikki
i really love your floral dresses!
I can totally relate to this, I feel the exact same way sometimes too! I hate having my photo taken if I can't control what gets deleted, I feel like I look different in photos than I think I look like in the mirror... but at least I'm not alone in my insecurities... :)
Love, Vanilla
http://notesfrommycloset.blogspot.com/
I can totally relate to this, I feel the exact same way sometimes too! I hate having my photo taken if I can't control what gets deleted, I feel like I look different in photos than I think I look like in the mirror... but at least I'm not alone in my insecurities... :)
Love, Vanilla
http://notesfrommycloset.blogspot.com/
I understand how it feels. I'm also quite a shy person and not that confident in reality, but I found myself very comfortable to pose in front of camera when I'm not in high public area... And everytime I take a look of the photos I go like, "wow is this really me?".
I guess that's because sometimes we have that different character depends on what channel we use to communicate with the world. In real life I might be shy, but in blogging I could write a lot and making fun photos and cheerful look in pictures. The funny thing also my friend found that my writing style is way much, much calm and romantic and melancholic compare to me when you meet me in person.
So the point is I guess it's your natural reaction to accept that you ARE attractive and amazing, it's just that the fact we human made mistakes and won't always be looking perfect in real life that make you feel somewhat uncomfortable. Like you feel guilty for being able making a great portfolio in the internet while you feel not that "perfect" literally... I'm telling you, in real life or in cyber world, it's all you. However it was you who create all of the great writings and photography and thoughts on your blog and if it's not you who work behind it, everything won't be the same. So let the bad feeling come as they will finally go after you realize that you are so much loved and you don't need to hesitate that!
<3
Clara
I know you're not fishing, but you just have to know that even though you don't always see it, you are beautiful! I know that basically any person can relate to that feeling, because we all go through a battle with our own insecurities. I know it's hard to believe it when people tell you these things, because I don't believe them when people tell me, either, but just know that in this case at least, it is most definitely true. Hopefully that made sense, haha. :)
Kate summed up my entire feelings on this subject in one sentence: " in real life I always think I look like the bad photos." ...I have a feeling it's universal. Yet how often do we look at a terrible photo of a friend and completely dismiss it because we know it looks nothing like them, just an awkward moment caught that would have never otherwise been noticed. We should all grant ourselves the same courtesy... only it's never as easy to do as it is to write/say.
Yes, Natalie had said what I wanted to say... I'm now vigorously nodding my head in agreement.
i know what you mean. but i'm odd about it: i hate how i look BUT i know i can't change it, so i try and own it. like, in my last post there was tonnes of my face. but that's because...it's mine? i'm not going to photoshop things or change things, because i can't change my actual face. maybe in time i'll start to like how i look, but for now, i'll lump it :) xx
The first photo is so cute !
Your hair is lovely by the way. You definitely suit it that colour.
I think i'm the same also (in regards to your post), i'm fine when alone and i can choose what pictures go on the net but very self conscious when out with other people. x
Love this dress! Super beautiful!
I think (hope?) we all have good and bad pictures! You don't even know how many pics I take where I have a double chin or muffin top...but the delete button works wonders :) I get down about it sometimes but in the end, I think everyone has bad days and bad pictures. You look beautiful!
I think you are absolutely darling! A little doll! But I totally get what you mean... I actually just did a post about my life-long battle with feeling uncomfortable with my thighs. As girls, we will always find faults in ourselves, but know you really are a beauty! ;)
xo
Janelle
www.janellehaskin.etsy.com
Oh I know exactly how you feel! Some days I honestly just feel terrible, I don't feel like dressing up nice because I don't like what I see in the mirror. Of course, other days I feel the complete opposite. I just hope you know though that you are a very beautiful girl, don't let those down days get the better of you :)
xx Carina
I relate to this more than I'd like to. I used to be crippingly self-conscious and I still think it's part of the reason I'm so reclusive & introverted. I actually use my love of clothes as a shield--if my outfit looks cute, it makes me less concerned about the body (me) in it...
well, i think you are beautiful.
always and forever.
you expressed that perfectly. You took the words out of my mouth, I feel that way a lot. Its a bummer, because we should be able to see beauty in ourselves but it is so darn hard too.
The first thing I thought when I came to the post before I read anything was wow, her hair looks so lovely and skin so beautiful, just so you know! :)
you are very beautiful.. and very stylish! i love your blog.. :) i followed you here.
really hoping you could visit my blog too and follow back... would be a pleasure.. :)
Sol
http://paragonofchic.blogspot.com
very nice dress!
cute dress! love your makeup!!!
http://myfashioninsider.blogspot.com/
the pics of your blog are magic!!
Kisses, I follow you from Spain :-)
I wrote on your facebook wall...but just know, I think you're the most beautiful belle of the south <3
you are so beautiful, don't ever start to doubt yourself! i definitely have days like this, sometimes weeks. i feel like this alot about my clothing too. I could go out in public and feel so confident about my outfit, then see one girl dressed up in an adorable dress and wedges and feel like crap about what I'm wearing. I hate that I'm so self-conscious about stuff like that. All that matters is you are beautiful to all of us, and we all love you deeply. Keep that chin up gorgeous.
xo
hellolyndsey
You know what's funny- in real life I've always described myself as Plain Jane- not ugly but not the star either- so i know exactly how you feel. I know you're beautiful and I wish you could believe it too- and I also know I'd be a hypocrite to say that you're the only one who downs on herself when she is absolutely gorgeous. SO do your best to not just think you're ok- but to think that you are fabulous. <3 you.
i know you're not asking for compliments, but you're really pretty, like a little doll somehow :)
and i know exactly how you feel, i wish life had a delete, or at least a stop, rewind and redo button for the bad days, but i guess we should just all be more confident in ourselves, and i agree with 'rebecca, the clothes horse' i think the pretty the clothes, the prettier i feel :)
your dress is gorgeous!!!!!!!!! you look amazing and the setting gives it a very calm feeling!
-laura
http://thesemanyyears.blogspot.com
I'll have you know that you're actually a treat for the eyes, and anyone who thinks differently is just blind and silly.
<3
Alyssa
I am not afraid to admit that I am almost always cocky of my appearance. I am horribly self-absorbed when it comes to physical beauty, but at least I admit it, right?
I never think that you are unattractive. You are downright gorgeous. Never think that you are anything but beautiful.
http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
I hear you, sweetie, it's sometimes a day to day battle. There are just certain days when we feel unattractive, ugly, gross, etc. I feel that way sometimes too. Sigh! But you do know you are beautiful AND adorable to me, which not everyone can be at once!
xoxo
Christine
http://un-stitched.com/
I know exactly how you feel. It's completely natural to feel this way. I find it easy to be snap snap snap and pose pose pose with my outfit photos, but like you say, it's easy to delete them, I generally only like 1 or 2 of 50, if that, and a lot of the time a whole outfit photo shoot doesn't get used.
You are gorgeous, as is your style, and your writing
Amy xxx
I've already commented on this post, but you're just as cute as a button so I had to comment again <3
But ahh, yes Forever21 is my true weakness. The dresses I bought were the rosy vintaged dress,the peter pan collar lace dress, and the classic polka dot dress. Did we purchase any of the same ones? I wouldn't be surprised.
Doesn't everyone have those periods? I know I do (and more often than not they coincide with pms!) Thats when high heels and that flattering staple from your wardrobe are perfect! I also find getting some exercise helps - maybe its those endorphins?
Regardless - you are gorgeous!
You look beautiful my dear. I quite know what you mean though.. In fact I struggled a lot in my last few years of high school and could barely bring myself to look in the mirror- even know I sometimes can't in public toilets.
Anyway it seems like lots of us feel the same way, it's hard! Lots of love to you xx
I think this is the best dress you've worn ever. I wish I featured this one instead but I adore them all anyway!!! You are very attractive and it doesn't matter what people truly think because you are a beautiful swan, not an ugly duckling.
i am in love with your dress!!!!!!!
♥ allister bee blog
oh, i know exactly what you mean! i always take loads and loads of photos (when i have a digital camera, anyway) and only end up using two or three. you really are beautiful though, so you needn't worry at all (: xxx
http://itscohen.blogspot.com/
I just discovered your blog, and I really like it! You have a cute style. That being said, I think you are very beautiful! Everyone has those days were they feel bad about their appearance, it'll pass. Look at these pretty pictures of yourself, read all the lovely comments and you'll feel pretty as ever in no time!
I'm glad you liked my paradoxes of blogging post; so many people misundertsood (willfully I think sometimes!) or never finished reading it b/c it got so long. :)
But yeah, I see a similar message between that & this. I mean, I struggle with bad body image, but it's not something I like to mention on the blog because a) it can be taken as trolling for compliments, b) because I don't think people will believe me, and c) it's simply not fun to talk about! I mean, when you blog people like to assume you have it all together & if someone sees a picture of you & thinks you look cute in it, they think you must see the same thing. And it's very frustrating when people are dismissive of legitimate emotions...I don't know that I am expressing myself properly now, because I do appreciate your post. But yeah, a lot of people have mean red days and super self-conscious days, but we have to keep plugging away and sometimes tomorrow is truly lovely and magical.
I feel ya girl...it's an every day struggle a lot of the time for me. I spend SO much time worrying about how others view me that I end up feeling incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin. I've really been trying to get past and some days it's doable and then other days it's just a pipe dream. I'm on the short side (5'2) and I'm a curvy thing..and very fair skinned..things that stand out (not in a great way) in the beachy area of Florida. Finally after 27 years I'm trying to work with myself rather than against myself but it's all trial and error. I think you are very captivating and have striking features. You are gorgeous!
Dearest lovely Amber Rose, I know exactly how you feel. I find myself feeling the same way. No matter what people say. I think all ladies/girls struggle with body image to some extent.
I know you are not searching for compliments, but truly. You are beautiful.
I love your blog :)
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